she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
