Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Less talking, more tequila
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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