Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
