WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it's like iHOP with fire
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
