i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
