How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
