Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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