do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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