i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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