just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
