So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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