yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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