Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
