your parents love me but you hate me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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