Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just found puke in my bra..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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