i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
