i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
birth control should be required to get into college
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
