yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
