So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
