if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
