please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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