Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
