When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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