I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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