I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I forget how to act sober
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
