Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
where am i from again
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just gargled with NyQuil
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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