i don't like sucking hair
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
