I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
