We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
