Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
