He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
we're so committed to being not committed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
