he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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