So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
