well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
