Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
