I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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