I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
