too bad you live with your parents still
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
