She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
