drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
