Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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