Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
