sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
