Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Green mimosas i think yes
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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