corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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