As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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