Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
not ubering you a puppy
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
