he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
