I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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