after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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