My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I understand Curling. That high.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Threesome in a minivan. New low
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
