If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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