Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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