Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
