Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
