a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
